NEW DELHI – Stephen Harper was rushed to hospital today after a severe bout of suspected food poisoning, while in the midst of a tour in India to promote trade. Officials at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS) stated that Harper, and several other members of his delegation, were admitted to hospital this morning, all suffering from severe vomiting and diarrhea.
“This is a classic case of E. Coli poisoning,” stated Dr. Narinder Chadha, a spokesman for the institute. “There is an existing, known E. Coli outbreak from tainted samosas at the Eastern Experiences restaurant that the delegation attended for dinner the previous evening.”
The unidentified owner of Eastern Experiences was placed under arrest by local police.
“We have placed under arrest the owner of this restaurant, who had displayed gross negligence in allowing this tainted food to be served, ” reported Surtaj Singh, Deputy Superintendent of the Delhi police force. “We do not have health inspectors that go around checking for food hazards,” continued Singh. “It is 100% incumbent upon each food provider to ensure the food is safe.”
Health inspectors in Delhi were eliminated as part of budget cutbacks several years ago.
Nigel Wright, Stephen Harper’s Chief of Staff, was furious at the turn of events. “It’s absolutely unbelievable in this day and age that health standards are not rigorously enforced in a country that is undergoing rapid development. The government of India needs to restore cutbacks to health inspectors to help prevent a debacle like this from ever occurring again.”
“It shouldn’t take somebody dying of E. Coli to wake the government up.”