Yorkville Woman Disrupts World Toilet Summit

World Toilet Summit Disrupted by Protester

World Toilet Summit Disrupted by Protester

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA – The World Toilet Summit in Durban, South Africa was thrown into chaos today when a noisy protester entered the conference venue and caused a temporary halt to the proceedings.  The conference, hosted by the World Toilet Organization, is a four-day event attended by organizations and activists across the world whose goal is to address the sanitation crisis in impoverished countries.

The woman, identified as Estelle Carlache of the Yorkville neighborhood in Toronto, disrupted the session for five minutes before she was escorted outside by security personnel.  She spoke afterwards with reporters and aggressively questioned the agenda of the summit.

“Charity begins at home,” emphasized Carlache. “This summit is exclusively focused on developing countries, yet it is western countries that are coughing up the money for these sanitation initiatives”.

Carlache was then prompted by reporters as to what issues existed with Western sanitation infrastructure.

“For starters, we have an epidemic of faulty automatic toilet flush sensors.  The other day, I was in the ladies’ room at the Royal York hotel doing a ‘Number 2’.  My mobile phone rang and I had to reach into my purse to grab my phone…next thing I know, the toilet started flushing even though I wasn’t done.  After that, I sneezed a couple of times and the toilet flushed again and again.  It was very uncomfortable because my bottom was very wet from the spray….and then it kept on flushing the whole time I shifted my body trying to wipe!  Psychologically, it was very distressing because I felt ‘rushed’ and could not relax, you know?  It was also very embarrassing because who knows what people thought I was doing in there.”

“Also, we HAVE to do something about these disgusting porta-potties.  When you walk into one of these things…it’s totally gross…I mean, you can look down into the toilet and see everybody else’s business that was done.  I don’t want to see other people’s poo…PERIOD.  Once that’s figured out, we need to have Wifi and Bluetooth installed in these potties.  Wifi is a definite must so that I can bring my in my iPad and continue browsing.  Bluetooth would help with flushing….with today’s technology, why I can’t I sync my iPad with my toilet and just issue a command to have the toilet flushed, rather than touching some icky handle that’s full of germs?  We really need to prioritize on improving this technology.”

Durban police arrived soon after and escorted Carlache to a local detention centre pending a scheduled court appearance tomorrow, a facility where there are no flush toilets.

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