TORONTO – As teachers began rotating one-day strikes at various elementary schools this week in Ontario as an escalation of their labour dispute with the Ontario government, the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (ETFO) upped the ante by hiring National Hockey League Players’ Association union leader Donald Fehr.
Fehr, who has been embroiled in the bitter labour dispute with the National Hockey League, joins the ETFO effective immediately, leaving the NHLPA scrambling to fill his vacated position.
Thelma Waxen, a spokesperson for ETFO, discussed the new hire with reporters. “I’m ecstatic to announce the hiring of Donald Fehr as our new union leader,” said Waxen. “The union membership has already ratified this decision, and Donald is on his way to Queens Park to meet with Dalton McGuinty.”
“Donald’s resume is impressive. He knows how to play hardball, as shown by his tactics which resulted in the 1994 Major League Baseball strike and World Series cancellation. With his NHLPA leadership tactics resulting in the current NHL lockout, he’s showed that he hasn’t lost his edge and is still a force to be reckoned with. I expect Donald to continue his success in the domain of education, resulting in the cancellation of the 2012-2013 school year season.”
The loss of Fehr shocked NHL players.
“This is definitely a blow,” stated a dejected Sydney Crosby. “With Donald gone, the pending cancellation of the 2012-2013 NHL season is now in jeopardy. We are more likely to come to agreement with the league and have a shortened season start in January…we’re going to have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and decide what our next move is going to be.”